When you’re going through ups and downs in your relationship, it can feel like every other couple out there is happy and has it all figured out. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as a perfect couple and even happy couples make mistakes. And experts like marriage and family therapist Sara Stanizai say that’s good because there are some things we have to learn “the hard way” - through conflict and resolving that conflict.
So don’t feel bad, these are some of the mistakes even happy couples make:
- Getting Too Comfortable - Nearly all couples make this mistake, because it’s easy to get into a groove in a relationship and start relaxing a little, but that groove can easily become a rut. Being comfortable is good, but relationships need to be nurtured, so don’t get lazy.
- Letting your families get too involved in your relationship - Being close with each other’s families can be a good thing, but boundaries still need to be “established and enforced.”
- Bringing up important issues over text - This isn’t a great way to communicate because there’s no tone of voice or inflection to help you understand your partner’s feelings or intent, so it’s easy to misinterpret or miscommunicate. You’re better off talking face-to-face to avoid that.
- Assuming you know what your partner wants or needs - We think we know our partners so well that when we see them upset, we assume we know how to fix it and we’re not always right, sometimes we could even make things worse.
- Avoiding money talks - Issues about finances are one of the biggest sources of tension for couples, but if you’re in a serious relationship, you’ll have to talk finances at some point. Sharing your feelings and concerns can help you better communicate with each other.
- Score keeping - Keeping track of everything you do in the relationship and what your partner does or doesn’t do can create tension.
- Avoiding conflict - No one wants to bicker and argue all the time, but fighting in healthy and productive ways can actually bring couples closer together.