Do you find yourself crushing on people, but as soon as they reciprocate those feelings you feel uncomfortable? You might be lithromantic As with any romantic orientation, somebody who identifies as a lithromantic may identify however they see fit in terms of their sexual orientation.
#1 You don’t feel the need to be in a romantic relationship.Lithromantic people feel romantic feelings for another person but no desire to be in a romantic relationship with those feelings reciprocated. You may develop a relationship with someone and feel uncomfortable with the romantic side of it.
#2 You feel emotionally unavailable. We all get this way sometimes typically after a heartbreak or traumatic event in our lives. However, if you feel this way for a long time, this may be a sign you are lithromantic. The romance in a relationship does not matter to you, it might not even cross your mind.
#3 You’re repulsed by the idea of romance. It just grosses you out. Why would anybody want to express their love for each other? Yuck. Let’s just stick to the basic human needs, okay? Romance might gross you out if you are a lithromantic. But maybe not. Like I said, there is a spectrum.
#4 You’re afraid of romance. Maybe you aren’t repulsed by the idea of romance, but it terrifies you. Opening yourself up on that level is terrifying and natural. Many lithromantic people feel the same way.
#5 You seek platonic relationships. Even if you date this person, you prefer your relationship more platonic. If lithromantic, you may be sexually attracted to your partner and that is as far as the attraction goes. You may also be romantically and sexually attracted to your partner, but do not want love reciprocated. That’s okay too.
#6 You lose the feeling of romantic love over time. Many people who are lithromantic enter relationships with a level of romantic love for their partner and lose it over time. They feel only platonic and sexual feelings for their partner. The romantic love could come back from time to time as well.
#7 Physical touch makes you uncomfortable. This is not referring to sexual touch by any means, because as we discussed, romantic orientation and sexual orientation have nothing to do with one another. As far as romantic touch goes, you may be uncomfortable with things like hand holding, cuddling, hugging, etc. No need to fret! You are not alone. Many lithromantics and non-lithromantics feel this way.
#8 You may find yourself attracted to fictional characters. This is not always the case, but some lithromantics fantasize about relationships they could have with characters from their favorite books, movies, and television series. If they have feelings for fictional characters, then there is no possible way that those feelings could be reciprocated. Thus, making them feel uncomfortable.
#9 You may not want any type of relationship—romantic or not. Since it is a spectrum, everybody who identifies as a lithromantic falls on a different part of it and identify accordingly. Some may feel uncomfortable with any sort of relationship, be it sexual in nature or romantic in nature. The idea of developing any sort of bond with another human being makes them very uncomfortable. They seek out short-lived interactions with others.
#10 You may lose feelings for somebody if the topic is brought up. Similar to losing romantic feelings over time, if somebody close to you brings this person up and starts a conversation about them, you feel very uncomfortable. This even makes you analyze those feelings and psych yourself out. Lithromantics stop having romantic feelings for an individual or their partner if somebody brings it up. They may not want to acknowledge that those feelings exist.
#11 You choose to keep your romantic feelings *crushes* a complete secret. You might be in a relationship now and discussed with your partner how you choose to identify and discuss your feelings *or not at all*. However, for those that are single, you prefer to keep your crushes a complete secret forever, never telling the other person how you feel. This might not be because you are afraid to tell them at all, but simply because you prefer to not have those feelings reciprocated. This way they never will be.
#12 You may find yourself sexually attracted to people first.You may seek out sexual partners, instead of romantic partners, and later develop romantic feelings for this person. At which point, you choose to disclose those feelings that you have for that person. Non-committal sexual relationships may be your ideal situation, because you do not need to talk about your “feelings.”