Kesha, who recently released the long-awaited album “Rainbow,” opens up about her battles with an eating disorder in the new issue of “Rolling Stone.” “I really just thought I wasn't supposed to eat food," she says. “And then if I ever did, I felt very ashamed, and I would make myself throw up because I'd think, 'Oh, my God, I can't believe I actually did that horrible thing. I'm so ashamed of myself because I don't deserve to eat food."
Kesha admits she was “slowly starving herself” but then people would tell her she looked good which only made things worse. She finally realized she needed help at a dinner party when she made herself crazy trying to figure out how to hide the fact that she wasn’t eating. She notes, “I remember just shaking because I was so fed up, so anxious, and I was just mad that I had let myself get to that point." Things were so bad Kesha says “I didn't know how to even eat. At that point, I'd forgotten how to do it."
Finally, with the help of her mom she went to rehab and saw a nutritionist to teach her how to eat. “I just remember crying into a carbohydrate," she says, "being like, 'I can't eat it. It's going to make me fat, and if I'm fat, I can't be a singer because pop stars can't eat food – they can't be fat.'"